What are we doing starting the week with another one of these French Cheapies? Because we live on the edge, that's why. We wern't expecting much from this one but we did notice how finely ground it is, so we took the initiative to make it a bit weaker. And it worked! By which I mean it didn't taste of an old pub ashtray, which is what we've come to expect of these French bargain coffees. It did smell of ashtrays though - so if you hold your nose and glug it down I think you can give it a 4/10!

    This is the first Percol for us, a new brand, and we're excited. But chocolate?  Orange Marmalade??!!  What are these people talking about? Have they any idea what coffee is or do they think they're making breakfast? How long before they are quoting Bacon Overtones with a smooth Egg finish? As if that flowery bullshit introduction wasn't enough to make you feel this is all style over content, wait until you open the packet.. it's full of TWIGS I kid you not. OK I may be exaggerating a little bit, but the coffee really is full of dried husks.. this can't be good. So Judge Hank makes this one, and swears by it. Six spoons for a strength 4 should be good. Hmmm.... no. It's weedy. It's not bad - but it's not good. There's nothing really to say about it - it's just adequate catering coffee. The only good thing to say is that the twigs didn't actually ruin it, as this is one coffee that I really was expecting to be "woody"! The only hope is to really spoon it up next time, to see if there's any hidden depths. Mind you it's the first coffee reviewed to warrent a second picture. Disappointedly a 5/10

First tasting for over a week - and onto a new brand. It didn't look appealing - an oily looking surface and very little foam. The initial smell was of cigar ash - which knocked me back a bit to say the least. Even the first taste had more of the taste when you pick up the wrong beer can at a party and its the one people have been using to put their butts in. Not sounding good so far?  Well.. you can warm to it a bit, but it's a bit harsh for my liking. Agricultural. 5/10

This looks much more sophisticated than its humble origins (Sainsburys). The packet oozes continental style - you can smell the oil from the 2-stroke Vespa and the hand crafted Italian leather shoes just on the packet. It must be quite finely ground as we had quite a few floaters on the top - but they couldn't take away from the rich classy taste. Not a coffee for wimps or the Latte Brigade. A great mid-afternoon 8/10

We've already reviewed this exact same coffee, but as Beans, not ground. So that's one variable taken out of the equation. We made a 6 spooner and it looked like used sump oil going into the cup - you really can notice the oily looking surface. The first mouthful felt like a punch in the throat from Mike Tyson; the second felt like him ripping your ear off - this is definitely not one for sissies. A whole mug of this bad boy is just too much - we must have over-egged it. I can't go higher than 5/10 just yet. Try again with a weaker mix.

First thing in the day this was a real disappointment. I think we always knew it - it is just the "medium roast" - there's no poncy name or flowery language on the back of the pack. First mouthful you may be fooled into thinking this is ok - but after a few glugs you're getting nothing. We used 6 spoons for 3 cups, so we could up that and try again, because it's definitely not horrible like the cheapo French ones we've supped. A lowly 6/10

We were messed up here by having to siphon some of the brew off from the pot to dilute down for "a girl". Of course this threw out all our weights and measures which means we are comparing this unfairly with all the others. But my God this came out a right little belter - stronger than Geoff Capes and with more staying power than a Rutting Stag. We ended up with tons of powder in the cup though, giving a really dry finish - enough powder to start growing more coffee in. This has got to be down to the brewing - an own brander can't be this good can it? Rated a tentative 8/10.

It's a strength 3 and it's early afternoon. We're risking it here, but that's how we live life down these parts... on the edge. We did 6 spoons for three cups and it came out looking very caramelly. I was dreading the first mouthful - but it was kind of OK. They claim "citrus" on this one - which in my world is a by-word for "utter-bollocks". The trouble is that this thing gets weaker as you go. As your buds adjust, that first initial mini-hit diminishes to nothing and I felt as though I've ended up with mug of milk. A five year choir boy could punch harder than this one. Needs redoing with a few more spoons. Rated 4/10.

We had to have TWO of these before committing to a review. Why? Because the first one was so bloody awful - there's more kick in a thimble of Ovaltine. As it was beans and our bean-grinding history seems to be universally terrible, we decided to change approach. Grind it coarse to avoid our previous woes, but go for 6 spoons to make 3 cups. Well, that one was so grim I couldn't even finish it, so we ground this one medium and upped it to 7 spoons. The result is better. But that's not saying much - having just spent the weekend mainlining Lava Java and Red Bull, this really is not up to scratch. They claim strength 4! Ha! It'll get one last chance - finely ground - after that it's going in the bin. Rated 5/10

Well this was a real turn up. There I was expecting the most repulsive coffee known to man - sweet, spicy and full of "chicory" - whatever the hell that is. I don't know but it should be in FOOD and not COFFEE that's for sure. However... bigotry aside, this thing 'ain't bad. True we did have it ball-crushingly strong, which maybe masked the chicory shit. But I liked it! What the?!!  Maybe my taste buds are wrecked from that skinful last night - so I demand a recount. This thing must be awful... 7/10.