Nestle Bonka Coffee
We picked up this one in Barcelona – it’s a big corporate brand who’ve chosen a comedy name. Well done Nestle – don’t pretend you didn’t know what you were doing. I thought maybe that “Bonka” actually meant something in Spanish or Catalan. Well I suppose it does. It means “Bonka”. Once we’re over the Sid James guffawing, we open the solid block packet and, as with every European coffee, as soon as it’s open you get the hard smash in the face that only normally comes from being hit in the face by an ashtray loaded with butts left over from an all night session in the worlds biggest cigar room having just held a Winston Churchill appreciation evening. Where ever that is. Man, it’s harsh. We treated it with kid gloves and kept the dose at the absolute minimum – four barely level spooons for two cups. There’s no need to even stew this for the usual 3.30 minutes – as soon as you stir it – it’s ready. A black vat of used sump oil. Still – we’re no wallflowers here in courtroom 600 and will bring anyone to book. The smell in the cup is pure carbon. The taste is akin to shotgunning a mug of it through the funnel of the Flying Scotsman just as it pulls into Edinburgh. But you do get used to it.. but only if you like it strong. If you’re a Gold Blend lover, this will probably put you in an early grave. So we will finish the packet of this stuff – on principle. But it’s not for the faint hearted. (5/10)
Nestle Bonka Coffee Read Post »
This is a strength 5 coffee that everyone should try. I didn’t even realise it was a five until we’d finished the packet and I saw the label. Yes it has all the good points of a fiver, but none of the bads. In the cup, even from our french press, it looks so appetising – a nice layer of light coloured head which just invites you to slurp it up. And no matter how many times I made it – every cup came out identical. Perfect for the coffee making novice – I defy anyone to cock this one up. All the way down the cup, the strong flavour holds, with no nasty aftertaste. Just that slight creamy feel on your tongue. It somehow feels as comforting as a cup of hot cocoa on a cold winters night. The only thing holding me back from givng this a full 10/10 rating is the lack of any fancy flowery-ness. But then it never claimed to have that – so maybe that’s just my problem? Anyway – its a 9/10
Not renowned for it’s coffee, we were a bit nervous with this one. It even comes from a tea producing region of China. Maybe these are just counterfeit tea leaves? The beans, it has to be said, look horrific. They are small, beige and dusty. They look like little bits of old chocolate that have gone white with age as they’ve been left in the corner shop window too long. There’s no great smell when you make it either – you’re just dealing with some plain, brown powder that could be anything. But in the cup it’s actually ok. It won’t set the world alight, but it does the job quite nicely. It’s a niche coffee really – it’s uniqueness is merely that is is Chinese – which actually is more uniqueness than some of the bland shite we’ve tasted. The nuttyness is there though – my first thought was chocolate, then chicory, then hazelnuts. None of which should be in my coffee, they should be in a box of Thorntons. 7/10 from Judge Nooge.