Tesco Finest Java Sumatra Coffee

Tesco Finest Java Sumatra Coffee

This is a dark and moody one – as soon as you open the pack the heavily roasted smell hits you – it’s black and heavy. You’d be forgiven for thinking you’ve accidently bought a packet of ground carbon. Consequently, we had to put this in the plunger with kid gloves. It felt like one grain too many and we’d be paying for it. But actually it’s not that bad – yes it is a very burnt tasting brew – but it does serve up well and come outs more or less the same whether you make it weak or strong.  So, it’s not one for those who like a mellow or fruity taste – it’s a one trick pony, but it’s not a bad trick. 7/10

42 votes
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Whittard Santos and Java Coffee

Whittard Santos and Java CoffeeThis is a real punchy little Whittard. It's a strength 5, and it tastes it - don't give this one to your mum thinking you can dumb it down and it'll all be ok, because it won't. The smell off the freshly brewed cup is powerful and enticing - there's no way you can forget this one and leave it to go cold by mistake. In fact, I never even put the cup down. 8/10

14 votes
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Asda Extra Special Java Volcanic Island Coffee

Asda Extra Special Java Volcanic Island CoffeeWe've had two of these in the same day. The reason for that?  It's 'effing blinding, that's what. Post my visit to Taylors lab last week, we've sharpened up our act in the kitchen. We've now got a timer to make sure we do a standard 3 1/2 minutes for each brew, and we're not going to open a new packet until we've finished the last one - or left it in the kitchen for the peasants to finish off. There's nothing to fault this on - it's thick and heavy, full of flavour yet no bitter aftertaste. I found out last week that these Asda Extra Specials are, infact, made for Asda by Taylors themselves - which explains me going out of my way to find an Asda just so I could try one. There's a big range too. Excited. No question - it's a 10/10

72 votes
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Waitrose Java Coffee

Waitrose Java CoffeeThis one turned up from our rookie Judge "cougheee" with the bold claim of the next Lava Java. It was just the two of us and he made his first pot following the strict Judge's rules - 5 spoons. Holy shit - this thing was so strong he may as well have picked up a piece of lead piping instead and smashed me about the face with it. Surely there must have been a mistake in the making?  Tablespoons instead of dessert spoons maybe? So today Judge Hank is back, swaggering about, with the intention of putting things right. What gets delivered is thick, heavy and oily. Just by looking you know that this is going to hurt. And it does. So far under normal Judge rules this is the strongest thing ever tasted. The underlying taste is pleasant enough, but it's just hard to pick it out when your mouth is pouring with blood. Again I can't finish the cup - which must score it badly - but I know deep down there's a good coffee here, you just need to treat it like it's radioactive: handle carefully and brew in a lead lined caffetiere. I can only give it 6/10 for now - but I'm sure this will jump up when we get the strength right.  And this is a STRENGTH 4 for God's sake... I thought Waitrose was the store for lily-livered Guardian Readers!

62 votes
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