July 2011

Sainsburys Taste the Difference Nicaraguan Fairtrade Coffee

Sainsburys Taste the Difference Nicaraguan Fairtrade CoffeeWe were messed up here by having to siphon some of the brew off from the pot to dilute down for "a girl". Of course this threw out all our weights and measures which means we are comparing this unfairly with all the others. But my God this came out a right little belter - stronger than Geoff Capes and with more staying power than a Rutting Stag. We ended up with tons of powder in the cup though, giving a really dry finish - enough powder to start growing more coffee in. This has got to be down to the brewing - an own brander can't be this good can it? Rated a tentative 8/10.

32 votes
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Taylors Cafe Imperial Coffee

Taylors Cafe Imperial CoffeeIt's a strength 3 and it's early afternoon. We're risking it here, but that's how we live life down these parts... on the edge. We did 6 spoons for three cups and it came out looking very caramelly. I was dreading the first mouthful - but it was kind of OK. They claim "citrus" on this one - which in my world is a by-word for "utter-bollocks". The trouble is that this thing gets weaker as you go. As your buds adjust, that first initial mini-hit diminishes to nothing and I felt as though I've ended up with mug of milk. A five year choir boy could punch harder than this one. Needs redoing with a few more spoons. Rated 4/10.

25 votes
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Taylors Rich Italian Coffee Beans

Taylors Rich Italian Coffee BeansWe had to have TWO of these before committing to a review. Why? Because the first one was so bloody awful - there's more kick in a thimble of Ovaltine. As it was beans and our bean-grinding history seems to be universally terrible, we decided to change approach. Grind it coarse to avoid our previous woes, but go for 6 spoons to make 3 cups. Well, that one was so grim I couldn't even finish it, so we ground this one medium and upped it to 7 spoons. The result is better. But that's not saying much - having just spent the weekend mainlining Lava Java and Red Bull, this really is not up to scratch. They claim strength 4! Ha! It'll get one last chance - finely ground - after that it's going in the bin. Rated 5/10

46 votes
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Sainsburys French Style With Chicory Coffee

Sainsburys French Style With Chicory CoffeeWell this was a real turn up. There I was expecting the most repulsive coffee known to man - sweet, spicy and full of "chicory" - whatever the hell that is. I don't know but it should be in FOOD and not COFFEE that's for sure. However... bigotry aside, this thing 'ain't bad. True we did have it ball-crushingly strong, which maybe masked the chicory shit. But I liked it! What the?!!  Maybe my taste buds are wrecked from that skinful last night - so I demand a recount. This thing must be awful... 7/10.

25 votes
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Marks and Spencer Cafe Connoisseur Dark Roast Coffee

Marks and Spencer Cafe Connoisseur Dark Roast CoffeeThis is a first - we had this one first thing and now we've had it again in the afternoon. The reason? It's a little beauty. Marks and Spencer have done us proud here with a rich tasting brew that lingers on the tongue as you swallow it down. It packs a meaty punch - it's a proper strength 5 for sure. Why aren't there more strength 5s about? It's not cheap though - I paid about £3.50 for this which puts it in the middle ground. This is coming in with a top score - only dipped down one point because there was no standout single quality to mention. Although the grind is perfect for the caffetiere - no sludge AT ALL left in the cup - that's a first! Judged at 9/10

57 votes
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Starbucks Tanzania Citrus and Blackcurrant Coffee

Starbucks Tanzania Citrus and Blackcurrant CoffeeOur first Starbucks - people have been asking Where are the Starbucks?!!  So we picked this one to start, drawn in by the idea that this tastes of black currants. First things first: it doesn't. Again we fall foul of the self grind and I think over grind it, giving a very muddy coffee resulting in a dry taste. There's nothing else that stands out about this - which is shocking considering the whopping £4.25 price tag. That's nigh on double the cost of a packet of the Taylors Hot Lava Java. Needs a second try. Initial Judge rating just 5/10!

35 votes
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Taylors Colombia High Andes Coffee

Taylors Colombia High Andes CoffeeFrom reading the blurb on the packet from Taylors (see below) you'd expect this to taste more like a fruit bowl than coffee. Well thank god it actually is coffee. The only way you'll taste "lemony citrus notes" in this is if you suck on a lemon for half an hour before hand. Why is "lemony" a desirable "note" to have anyway?  And what the f*#k is a "note" and why is it in my cup? Anyway - the coffee is pretty fine - heavy and full of flavour. There maybe is a slight metallic aftertaste - you can still feel the coffee ten minutes later. For that reason I'd take it down a peg from a Judges rating of 7 to 6.

31 votes
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Cafe Direct Kilimanjaro Tanzania Coffee

Cafe Direct Kilimanjaro Tanzania CoffeeThis one is not bad at all. Looks and smells great - the whole room had the warm and welcoming feel from the aroma wafting off these 3 cups. the pale head was there at the start, and stayed there all the way down to the bottom. A very full taste with maybe a hint of a sour aftertaste that lingers for a while on the very back of the tongue. This is a strength 3 officially - but it's hitting above that I think - a 4 easily. Judges rating 7/10

7 votes
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Tesco Finest Colombian Supremo Coffee

Tesco Finest Colombian Supremo CoffeeA good white foam on this one - it looks fantastic. But the taste is dry, bitter and lemony. The aftertaste really stays on your tongue too - there's no escaping this one once you've swilled some down -you're committed to this thing for the next 15 minutes, like it or not. Maybe it needs a bit more sugar than normal to try and balance it out. It doesn't have that cheap French-Hypermarket-Coffee burn, but it may as well be as cheap as it's as undrinkable - just in a different way. A very low judge rating of 4/10.

34 votes
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