Deathwish Coffee Company

The Deathwish Coffee Company have only one product, and it's called Deathwish Coffee. The premise being that the strongest tasting coffee is not neccessarily the strongest ceffeinated coffee. Now here's the science: the bean with the strongest flavour is the Arabica bean. These are the most desirable, slow growing, and therefore expensive. Whereas the Robusta bean is easier and quicker to grow, therefore cheaper, but tastes like shit. Hence to boost caffeine content you generally have to cut some Robusta into your Arabica - so you get the Arabica taste but the Robusta punch. Then there's the roasting - the longer you roast, the stronger the flavour. But - the longer you roast the more caffeine you drive out. What a 'mare! Add to this that because no-one wants the cheapo Robustas, they are generally grown badly and unethically, which makes the whole situation even worse. Here's where the Deathwish Coffee Company found their challenge - to find a decent Robusta. And... well, they've done it. A great example of do one thing, and do it well. 

Deathwish Coffee

Deathwish CoffeeAs gimmicks go, this is the pinnacle. A coffee with beans twice as strong as any other. The world's strongest coffee. This is the kind of challenge that gets the Judge's gavels quivering. Having read the article in The Metro, people were asking us if we'd tried it. We hadn't, so got some sent over faster than Pete Doherty on his way to the all night garage to pick up a packet of Kingsize. It arrived in a Jiffy Bag and started to emit its potent hard core coffee smell all over the house. Now, bearing in mind this is whole bean coffee, that's potent, and the Judge is starting to think that we're going to need a Geiger counter and some lead mugs. Despite the slightly cheesy skull motif, the packaging of the coffee is actually uber luxury. A big, heavy bag with a nice little metal reseal clip that will do for a nipple clamp after you've finished your Shades of Grey. When you get a look at the beans you are going to be struck by how massive they are - they're f*cking enourmous and highly polished - just look at them!. Akin to the gonads you're going to need if you want to take this bad boy on. Rather than pussy-out, we made it up at our usual testing strength - six spoons for three cups. At this point, the smell took a turn for the worse - sinking into cigar filled ash tray territory. But hang on - keep the faith. Some coffees that smell like that, taste like that. But the Deathwish Coffee held its own and taste wise was actually pretty damn mellow. It certainly didn't punch us in the face or throat.The super shiney Deathwish Coffee beans It just went down, quicker than Monica Lewinsky the day after Lent. That's not saying we didn't realise that this thing is strong - strong enough to take on Geoff Capes before he took to budgerigar fancying - but it hides it well. It's right up there with the Hot Lava Java and Lavazza Espresso. It's easy to make too - we've done a few and varied it a bit, and they're still making us smile. So if you like your strong coffee, you've got to do it and be the talk of your office with its crazy packaging and outrageously strong smell. It's fun. It's nice. Only one point off the hallowed ten - and only because ordering my coffee from the USA just 'aint convenient. It's a 9/10.

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Average: 9.2 (5 votes)
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